Becoming a Bride (what is a non-girlie girl who photographs weddings for a living to do??)

As I sit staring at an incredible to-do list filled to the brim with the amazing things I get to do this week  (yes–get to do…being in a profession I love I get choices everyday to do what I love.  I digress..) However, there is one list that is ragin’ angry with me based on the shear lack of time I have given her:  our wedding to-do list.
She initially tried sweetly flirting to get my attention. ‘ Look at how much fun we are going to have selecting lace vs. chiffon, vibrant colors vs. muted neutrals, local fare vs. amazing southern -inspired bites’…yet…mostly…she gets ignored.
Then she resorted to playing hard to get…’if I just ignore her, surely she will understand I am important and deserving of her attention?’
And now she stomps her feet, pleads and pouts as we approach 6 weeks until the day and many items go unfinished.
In the whirlwind that has been our last six months since turning 40/celebrating the holidays/getting engaged/having our business hit an amazing new stride.  Poor little wedding planning has taken a backseat and has put the spotlight on what I have suspected all along:  as much as I ADORE other peoples weddings…I personally do not possess the ‘bride gene.’
Now do not take this as anything to do with getting married. Brian and I are excited. (but also note that we have been together for nearly 7 years.  Our wedding day will be the 7th anniversary of our first date.. insert collective ‘awwwwwe’… or 7 years! wtf! here..  And really feel quite married already. )
Yet– although sweet ‘wedding to-do list’ has tried her very best to get my attention.  She still goes largely ignored.
Of course I want it to beautiful. Of course I have spent hours on pinterest.  But here are a few few observations I have noted in the process:
* For as non-shy and dare I say, loud-mouthed as I am. Being the center of attention is super freaky and weird to me.  I can wedding talk all day long until you ask about ours.
*  It is possible to try on a ton of dresses and never have the “this is it!” moment. Yet–still buy one that cost way too much.
* Though I have protested…I guess we really do need to register.
* I am not a ‘details’ person…when people ask questions about the type of chairs I want or color of lines…I could not care less
* I am pretty sure I am not going to be able to keep a straight face during the ceremony…especially since one of our best buds has become an officiant to perform it!
* I realize I too,  actually want the ‘boring, family pictures’ every editorial/photojournalist photographer dreads
* Though I tell every bride ‘its YOUR wedding’ do what you want! I find myself thinking the same insecure crap they do in terms of what others will think of my selections/will they have fun since its so low key/will they think I look amazing  (yah…I said it.)  I even care what the ‘mothers’ think and have tried to work in their thoughts a bit.  So, for as badass and ‘ I do not care what everyone else thinks’ I think I am; at the end of the day, aw shiz. I do.  For example…I had planned to wear a non-white dress..nope.
*  No matter how amazing I want to look it is still not enough of a draw to get my ass to the gym. Pretty.much.ever.
* Though we have been together for 7 years.  When you get married with a 5-month engagement people still thinks its ‘shot gun’.  (Damn…guess my newly formed mini-muffin-top is not going to help my cause.)
So what’s a  non-bride-gene-possessing, non-girlie-bride to do to get this all pulled together?
Have great friends.  Those who volunteer to come by the studio and force a wedding plan onto to the scene just in time to save the day. (Thank you lovely Alicia LaLone!)  Creative friends rock!  (Thank you Karissa Pennell @ Nectar for designing my ‘textiles’ bouquet since I would have gone without one without you. And, Kristen Morris for designing what will surely be an amazing, statement necklace:-)
Oh–And make sure some of those friends are more girlie-girl and make you register and though you refuse to have a “shower” create a ‘celebration’ in your honor. (Can’t wait until our spa day this weekend Sandy & Court+girls..)  And, finally,  hope being around all of these lovelies–that some time in the next 6 weeks a glimmer of the ‘gene’ makes it way to you.
…That…or, serve lots of cocktails at the wedding. (who will notice what I have not planned  then?;-)
Since no post should ever go photo-less:  This is how non-girlie get engaged.  (They have no freakin; idea its coming..)  via a quick-thinking friends iphone.. as well as a few images one of our photographers (and good friend!) Nikki took for us:



  1. Jessica Frazier says:

    I LOVE this post! I’m a girlie girl and I’ve even had some of these thoughts through the process. I really enjoyed reading this 🙂

  2. Mylisa says:

    I’m really happy for you guys Cass!! I love the pix of you and Brian and I know whatever you plan or don’t plan, it’ll be a great day with friends and family that you’ll remember and cherish always. All the Best, Peace and Love to you both.
    ~Your Cousin,(as if you forgot;) Mylisa

  3. Great post! I love your sense of humor. 🙂

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